Confusion

 i was about to give up..
i tried to distance myself from u
but then, things happened the other way..
we become closer and closer now..
.
Im confused..
confused of your feelings..and your intention..
.
the moment i stopped hoping, then u gave me hope..again..
why??
.
y did u give me that song?
were u trying to convey your feelings to me?
i dont get it..and i dont want to ask u..
because im too scared of this word :: 'rejection'
.
Ya Allah..please guide me..
If he's the one for me, please let me see my way..
If he's not the one, please put him away..

but..why is it so hard to part from him?
could it be...?

Thought that I was having my bad day..

Two days ago, 1st Ramadhan, when everyone was happy welcoming the fasting month, I thought I had a bad day. A lot of things went wrong and the worst wassss *sigh* - my car.
.
I never imagined my car to crash into a divider and one of the front tyres was about going into a big drain! *ok Faezah, if u happen to read this, breathe in. I'm okay!* I was soooo speechless and had no feeling at that time. It was just a small accident. And it happened just right in front of his house! And I was going to pick him to Sungai Petani (for the first time to use my car). In front of his house was clearance stock sale, and there were a lottt of people. Oh my goodness! Malu kot! but i only realized the malu feeling the next day. hoho.. He was so kind, so caring, so helpful..mcm mna hati tak cair? i stood there helplessly, looking at him and the people to move my car. Oh myyy..if he wasnt there, I don't know what would happen. After my car was 'saved', he came to me and calmed me down..and he asked me to drive home. Just a few seconds after I arrived home (not even a minute) he was already there for me.. to pick me.
.
seriously..why are you being so nice to meee.. T_T
.
He brought me to SP, cheered me up, helped me a lot, accompanied me to break our fast..he did a lot..
.
He sent me home at almost 11 pm.. and at midnight he texted me again, telling me not to worry and think positive..
.
and the next day he texted me again..
and today, early in the morning he texted me againnn..even he was in the class, and i was in the class too.. asking about me and my car.
.
Man, why are you so caring? I can't stop my heart from liking u T_T
.
.
but after all these things happened, I finally acknowledge the saying 'everything happens for a reason'..and the reason behind my accident is, I'm getting closer to him.
.
and, I'm taking back my words - that day was not my bad day. It was one of the best days, and the root to grow our relationship. =)
.

I won't ask for more.. having him by my side is enough for now..thank you Allah :')

The Most Unforgettable Memory :)

I wont forget that wonderful date, 19th June 2014.. it was so meaningful, and i've no regret since then..
Thanks so much for being there for me :)

Rindu lagi..

Kepada insan yang bernama SA..

Ketahuilah..

Sesungguhnya aku rindu..

Alhamdulillah..

It has been a week, since the decision has been made.
Alhamdulillah..all praises to Allah :)
I'm so thankful Allah..a burden had been lifted from my heart, my soul and my heart..syukur alhamdulillah..
.
I know You heard us..I know You has a better plan for us..

Yes. Allah heard us. I pray hard to get want i want..but, do not forget that not everything we've ever wanted is good for us..sometimes, the things u want the most are the things u are best without..

.

..but until the last drop of my effort, i'm still hoping for a miracle..

.

Ya Allah..please grant my wish..ameen.

I Left :(

My lips deny that I miss you..

But deep inside, my heart always misses you..

...and I know, you didn't even think of me..sobs :'(

Oh Allah..

Your love for me is greater than anything else..

Hoping For A Miracle

Miracle..

I am hoping that miracle will happen to me..

I know.

I understand..

But i'm still hoping.

So lets just hoping for a miracle :)

Oh Allah..

please put my heart at ease..

Ameen..

Sometimes..

If I have met you earlier..

and..

If I haven't met you at all..

....I dont know what is destined for me..

.

but now I have met you, maybe too late..

Oh Allah..please put my heart at ease..

Stop :')

Today's quote :)

"When God removes a person from your life, it means they weren't good for u anymore..so, stop chasing after him.."

Ya Allah..redhakanlah hatiku..
Sesungguhnya, aku hanyalah insanMu yg lemah..

:)

Tonight is the night.
and i feel relieve..
Thank you Allah :)

He's not meant to be mine..

Jika aku..

Andai engkau tau betapa kumencinta
selalu menjadikanmu isi dalam doaku
ku tahu tak mudah menjadi yang kau minta
ku pasrahkan hatiku, takdir kan menjawabnya.

Jika aku bukan jalanmu
Ku berhenti mengharapkanmu
Jika aku memang tercipta untukmu
Ku kan memilikimu
Jodoh pasti bertemu..

Andai engkau tahu betapa kumencinta
ku pasrahkan hatiku, takdir kan menjawabnya..

Cinta Agung..

Ya Allah..
Di saat ku terlalu leka mengejar cinta dunia..
Teralpa ku seketika bahawa cintaMu itu jauh lebih agung daripada segala-galanya..

Ampunilah hambaMu yang lemah dan lalai ini.. :'(

Rindu :(

Ya Allah..
Aku rindu.. :(

Jika dan hanya Jika..

JIKA dapat kuundur masa, akan kuhargai setiap saat yang ada..
JIKA dapat kuluah apa yang terbuku, akan kuluah tanpa rasa malu..
JIKA dapat diriku difahami, tidaklah aku tersepit sebegini..
JIKA hati manusia itu boleh dibaca, tidaklah aku tertanya-tanya..
JIKA dapat kukembali ke zaman remaja dulu, akan kuhargai setiap detik yang ada..


Jika..

Ya..

Itu semua hanyalah JIKA..

Terlalu banyak JIKA yang terbuku di hati..JIKA yang sememangnya tidak akan menjadi realiti.. JIKA yang hanya akan kekal sebagai JIKA..

...dan JIKA aku manusia yang mudah menerima segala ketentuan ini, maka mudahlah segala urusan..


" Ya Allah..Kau lembutkanlah hatiku ini..Kau redhakanlah hambaMu ini menerima ketentuan dariMu..jauhkanlah aku dari segala hasutan syaitonirrojim..kumohon dariMu ya Allah.. "

Rahsia Allah Tak Siapa Tahu..

SEKUAT mana kita setia...
SEHEBAT mana kita merancang...
SELAMA mana kita menunggu...
SEKERAS mana kita bersabar...
SEJUJUR mana kita menerima kekasih kita...
SELAMA mana kita bertahan bersamanya...

Jika Allah swt tidak menulis jodoh kita bersama orang yang kita sukai, kita tetap tidak akan bersama dengannya walau kau bersusah payah mendapatkannya. Maka cintailah orang yang sewajarnya.. kerana orang yang kita cintai belum pasti jodoh kita nanti..


Kadangkala yang engkau nilai baik untukmu belum tentu baik untuk Allah swt  :)



Saat hati berkata "INGIN", namun Allah berkata "TUNGGU"
Saat "AIR MATA" harus menitis, namun Allah berkata "SENYUMLAH"
Saat segalanya terasa "MEMBOSANKAN", namun Allah berkata "TERUSLAH MELANGKAH"


Kita merancang, Allah juga merancang, tetapi sesungguhnya perancangan Allah itu lebih baik dan terlalu banyak rahsianya..

* makanya... aku redha..

Senyum

Hendak ku kata paksa,
Mungkin.
.
Hendak ku kata rela,
Tidak.
.
Lalu harus ku apa lagi?
.
Senyum.
Lukislah di wajahmu;
Walau hatimu luka.

Empty Heart

I miss him so much..although he doesn't even know that truth..
.
"O Allah..do not attach my heart to what's not written to be mine.."
.
Jodoh itu rahsia Allah..aku redha..
.
...Ya Allah,
jika dia tidak ditakdirkan untukku, 
dan aku tidak ditakdirkan untuknya,
maka jauhilah aku dari memikirkannya,
dan jauhilah dirinya dari memikirkanku..

Between Hopes and Reality

"...malam, kau bawalah rinduku untuk dirinya yang jauh diriku..
.
...hujan, bawa air mataku yang mengalir membasuh lukaku..
agar dia tahu ku terseksa, tanpa cinta dia di hatiku..
hanya mampu berserah..
moga cahaya tiba nanti...
.
..Tuhan, tolong lembutkan hati dia..
untuk terimaku seadanya..
kerna ku tak sanggup, kerna ku tak mampu hidup tanpa dia di sisiku..."
.
- petikan lagu Ombak Rindu (sangat match dengan jiwa at this moment) T_T
.
Dilema yang menghantuiku Tuhan saja yang tahu..oh hati, bertabahlah..jangan yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran..
.
"I like you"..i can only say that in my heart..coz i know you are somebody else's guy.. and we're not meant for each other..
.
and i? i have a big dark hole in front of my eyes which is waiting for me to fall into it..i dont know what's inside, is there happiness, or is there grief? oh God please guide me..
.
i'm getting crazier day by day thinking of what's going on in my life..i dont have much time left! :(
.
"andai itu yang terbaik buatku, lembutkanlah hatiku agar menerima takdirmu ya Allah.."
"ampuni hambamu yang lemah ini..."
.
"oh Allah, when I lose my hopes and plans, help me remember that Your love for me is greater than my disappoinments, and Your plans for me are better than my dreams.."

A Dream to Remember

11th January 2014..
.
Last night was a great 'dream'.. ^______^
.
Thank you for appearing in my 'dream'..